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Sunday, October 3, 2010

Dire straits

I've been really preoccupied at work this week. I've realized that it's quite depressing to work with kids/students. Life has been more or less smooth sailing for me, so I can't understand the malice that some of these kids emit. Some are good kids, willing to make an effort to learn, but quite a few are uninterested in an learning. They may come from dysfunctional families, but that simply does not excuse their behavior. Some of them simply swagger up to a teacher, ANY teacher, and spout vulgarities/insults. We most definitely did not do anything to deserve such animosity. I have never even seen some of these students before. And they are not afraid of any disciplinary action since they already spend plenty of time in detention. It's not just 1 or 2 nasty kids, but almost a few in EVERY class. I understand that there are schools which house students of lower academic abilities who come with their own emotional baggage and attitude problems and I should not expect too much out of them, but this is too much. This kind of disrespect is very unbecoming. The kids of today are displaying a culture of disrespect. They do not respect neither seniority, be it age or position. Many years back, a teacher could punish a student thoroughly. Nowadays, disciplinary threats do not avail since over-zealous parents will raise hell over the slightest things. I really am at a loss with how to deal with unruly kids. A Senior teacher told me we must be "like Buddha" and be unruffled by any unruly behavior. In short, I am supposed to put on a Stoic Face and calmly take all the insults that the kids dish out at me.

The future looks bleak. I wish we were able to implement strict measures and discipline all those wannabe hooligans. They actually think it's cool to be a delinquent. I really pity the kids who want to learn but are stuck in a situation where others destroy their learning environment.

Just the other day, I actually broke down and cried after a whole day of being insulted. It seems the classes here make most trainee teachers cry at least once before their contract is up. They actually seem quite proud of it........... I'm not going to give up. These kids think they can lord it over me? Yes and No. Of course I'm not going to totally give up on them, but i'm not going to rise to the bait anymore. All I'm going to do is put on a Stony Face every time they tell me crap. I actually pity them... They just don't understand that it's not my future at stake, it's theirs. They may think they've won, but the fact is they're only just starting to embark on a future where sooner or later, they'll reap the consequences of their actions.

I resolve to emulate Christ in the face of insults.
Breathe in, breathe out. Zen. Total peace and calm in the face of a typhoon.

And yes, a teacher shouldn't be too obsessed over her nails, 'cause that is considered vain/materialistic/bimbotic but this really is part of my weekend pampering process where I retreat to lick my wounds and recuperate from cutting insults.
And here are my work appropriate nails, OPI Fiji Weejee Fawn. It's a very neutral pearly nude. It's perfect for a classy chic work-look.